I have come to tell people that I’m the recession’s poster boy. It’s so hard to tell people in detail that has happened to me over the past two-and-a- half-years. It’s a shorthand way of telling them that all the significant wealth and possessions that I have had are now gone. Often times this has been a relief, but there is a remnant debt left over that is not large as the way the world is, but right now this debt is a mountain.
It’s hard to take the denials of employment personally. I have always done things my own way, and some people have disliked me for it. Even previously I was well aware that I have been discriminated against, and during this interval that discrimination has intensified. I am very well aware that I am dealing with a skills deficit, but the institution I chose to help me eliminate it, only to find that they were not a remedial institution and taught towards younger and far more experienced people. I need to find a better way to close the gap.
I do wonder, when I awake bitter and frustrated on days like today, about what my next move is. I will slough off my bad mood and walk or write. The solution is a daily one, leaving the “how” to the universe. Hard work this.