So far in 2012 I have had about 20 interviews, but I think only 1 or 2 second interviews. I can remember a time, not long ago, when I would be hired for a project at the end of an interview, even a phone interview, no sweat. These days interviewing is a performance art where I start believing again, but end up deceived, angry and bitter.

I am very tired of the model of interview where the first part is enthusiasm for me, my skills, and certain placement, but the second part – in person, or with a different person – is geared to manage my expectations. The interview last Friday morning was like this, the first woman praising me, while the second damned me for assuming that they place professional people at competitive wages. Evidently they don’t.

My interview started 20 minutes late, even though I had completed all my paperwork, having arrived early. They also didn’t seem to understand that when I tell them I’m transit dependent I have to take a bus that leaves at a certain time. So as I cross the street post-interview I see my bus pull away that would not return for another hour, I turn to walk the 2 1/2 miles home.

I hear lots of people tell me “you have to be realistic” or spout some kind conventional wisdom. I have defied conventional wisdom my whole life and I have always been correct to do so. I may have to be patient, I will be tested, but I know that if I give up on what I need and want I am doomed. I can’t give into people who run me down, then run me over, then expect me to turn to the HR Dark Side.

The big message I get is that I need to focus on the entrepreneurial ideas that I’ve had, filling notebooks over the years. I have to open those notebooks, share what I’ve got, take my lumps, walk through my fear,  deal with the people who disagree with me and be who I am, no matter how much some people may not like it.


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